One of my dear clients is getting a divorce.
This will be the first time for her being properly alone ever as she went straight from living with her parents to live with her husband. Not long after, she had children. The children are grown up now.
She had no clue of how to go about ending this relationship. All she knows is that she is desperately unhappy and something has to change.
She is post-menopausal and her hormones that kept her in the programming of wife and mother have worn off and she wants to live a life on HER terms. She has already expressed interest in travelling to India where her husband was never interested in going.
She was in a bit of a dilemma, but together we have mapped out a plan for her escape!!
Some advice on what to do if you are thinking of leaving your relationship.
✅ Get really clear on what you want….especially financially. What do you want to walk away with? What do you think is fair? Think of the material things you want to take….paintings, furniture and be willing to negotiate.
✅ If necessary, get some initial advice from a lawyer about your rights (especially if it is a complicated situation with family trusts etc). Beware that you avoid getting into unnecessary legal fights! Otherwise, the only winners are the lawyers.
✅ Get a coach. This is the ONE major piece of advice I can give you. Someone who is completely impartial and who can see when people’s patterns are sabotaging the process. Yes…of course your family and friends will want to weigh in. However, be very careful as they are biased and also probably not trained to give advice. Often, they will want to get on the ‘bash up your partner’ wagon and that is not helpful.
So…. if you want to end a relationship with your significant other in an amical way and get what you want…you will need some support from an expert.