I remember years ago when I first learned to snow ski. I was a novice when this incident happened. After only having been a few times and having had only a couple of beginners lessons, I took myself up to the top of a slope to ski down by doing my best snow plough!

Now….there was a tree in the middle of the slope but there were acres of groomed snow around it.

As I started tentatively down the slope, I began to worry about the tree. I kept on looking at it and saying to myself, ‘I hope I don’t crash into that tree! …… I hope I don’t crash into that tree!’

Well….I think you know where this story is going….right?

Yes….. as I focused on NOT crashing into the tree….. it got closer and closer until BANG and CRASH! I was wrapped around it. Arms, legs, skis and poles
everywhere! Luckily I was not badly injured and managed to awkwardly untangle myself and continue as carefully as possible down the slope.

When I became more adept and had a few more skiing lessons, I realised that what I had to focus on and look at was the place I wanted to go next on the slope. Obviously that was the groomed slopes and NOT the trees. I learned not to focus on the trees (or at least keep them in my periphery only) and look and point my skis towards where I wanted to go and that was across and down the lovely groomed slope. I became quite good at it and I did not crash into a tree ever again.

You know…..this really is a metaphor for life!

I often tell clients this story during coaching sessions to show how important it is to focus on what you want in life rather than focussing on NOT having what you DON’T want.

During midlife and menopause, it is easy to get wrapped up on the negative as life changes and menopausal symptoms ensue. Life changes without your permission and it can seem challenging and unfair.

Doing something about the physical and emotional symptoms, whether using natural remedies or medication is absolutely necessary …but having a healthy mindset is just as important.

Setting goals for your next chapter of your life and making a plan of how to get there is a healthy and positive way of tuning your mindset.

When setting goals it is important to say what you want….not what you don’t want. For example….. when writing a goal, instead of saying ‘I have stopped smoking’, it is far better to say ‘I treat my body like a temple and only put into my body substances that nurture and sustain it’.

This is because the unconscious mind does not process negatives. So it would only hear ‘smoke’ rather than ‘stopped smoking’.

Just to demonstrate what I mean….think about what happens in your mind when I tell you to NOT think of a pink elephant?


So go and set that goal and make sure you write down what you WANT using positive language!

If you would like some help with this you can book in for a quick chat by clicking on the link to my online calendar.

You can also check out my website


You can also check out my website